


Say It Ain't So

by yourethelmaandimlouise



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bi!Dean, Bottom Dean, Castiel & Meg Masters Friendship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic John, Homophobic Mary, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, OOC Mary, Oops, Pan!Cas, Sam is Confused, Slow Burn, Top Castiel, ace!meg, aro!Eileen, bless, but who knows man maybe we'll delve in, charlie and jo are lesbian af ok, everyone is queer as fuck, i started writing this before she came back from the dead oops!, i went there yall, im kinda sorry but not enough to not explore this, it's ok sammy we've all been there, the others are side characters, this is probably gonna be mainly dean/cas, tropey as fuck, we're delving in yall get ready
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7826656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourethelmaandimlouise/pseuds/yourethelmaandimlouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look, guys. This is a fucking trope fest and I love it. They're in college and Sam and Cas are friends, and Cas and Dean hate each other, and you know how it ends, ok, don't make me spell it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Assbutt

**Author's Note:**

> This will definitely be updating at least once every weekend, probably more often the more feedback I get *nudge nudge wink wink* :D

Castiel walks through the hallways burdened not only by his books, but also the whole damn weight of the world. At least that’s what it feels like to the young idealist after defending an unorthodox theory in a class full of corporate sharks in the making. To imagine a win-win situation in the poorest parts of the world was apparently too much to ask. Where was the conviction? The creativity? The heart? College was supposed to be a place to discover new facets of yourself, not watch them die in your business strategy class. 

From across campus Dean recognizes a familiar gait topped by a familiar bedhead, but while these sights are well known to him, the person who owns them isn’t. Dean has yet to know his name as well as he does his bright blue eyes. He's aware the staring is kind of creepy, but to be fair, the dude just keeps popping up everywhere. 

Dean lookes back down at the logarithms on his sheet that had somehow transformed into random lines and squiggles about an hour ago. He wasn’t totally convinced this assignment wasn’t just their professor trying to mess with them. Pam, as she insisted they call her, seemed mischievous enough to have pulled a prank like this.

He leaves his books conspicuously strewn about the window-side table before getting up for more coffee. If anyone tries to steal his highly coveted table in the crowded café, they’ll have hell to pay. Just as he takes a sip from his steaming hot cup he notices some guy moving his stuff off the table.

“Dude. What the hell are you doing?”

The guy in question turns around and Dean is arrested by those blue eyes he was so enchanted by. Upon closer inspection though, they lacked the warmth Dean imagined they’d have. 

“Clearly you weren’t using this table so I am taking it.”

“Uh, clearly I was using the table. Did you not notice all the stuff on it?”

“You shouldn’t have gotten up.” He shrugs, unconcerned. As he goes to sit down, Dean sees red and before he knows it he’s pulling the chair out from under him.

Castiel falls right down and shoots Dean an incredulous look that in any other situation would have had him in stitches. He pulls the chair up to the table and sits down triumphantly, but not before Castiel grabs his backpack and tosses it a few tables down.

Dean gets up. “My laptop!”

Castiel steps toward him, seeming to loom even if a couple inches shorter. “My ass!”

Dean takes a step closer. “You’re an ass!”

They’re both red and huffing and almost nose to nose when someone beside them coughs awkwardly. Dean and Castiel look up and finally notice the absence of noise and everyone's eyes trained on them. Dean takes a step back and looks to his left. There’s Sam, with books in hand and a particularly bitchy bitchface.

“Do I even want to know?” He seems to ask both of them, which Dean thinks is weird but he brushes it off in favor of responding; Castiel has the same idea.

“He’s a dickface.”  
“He’s an assbutt.”

Dean shoots Castiel a look, “Assbutt? Really?”

Castiel shrugs again.

Sam steps in, “Look guys, I don’t know what’s going on but Cas promised to tutor me for an hour and I don’t wanna waste his time.”

Dean says, “ _This_ is the guy you’ve been wanting to work with?”

Sam and Cas shoot him nearly identical bitchfaces. Dean has had enough. “Whatever. Good fucking luck.”

As he walks away Castiel calls out, “Don’t forget your backpack!”


	2. Cupcakes and Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's why Sam's hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

When Sam gets back to his and Dean’s small off-campus apartment, his senses are overwhelmed by something sweet and familiar. He drops his bag by the door, kicks off his shoes, and follows his nose to the kitchen where Dean is baking up a storm. While Sam hates that Dean is clearly stressed out, he can’t help but enjoy the outcome.

“Is that mom’s apple pie recipe?”

Dean nods absently. The pie is cooling on a wire rack and the rest of the kitchen is in complete disarray. Dean’s pink stormtrooper apron is almost completely covered in flour and other colorful unidentified substances. Sam leans against the doorway and watches Dean with a fond expression on his face. He’s come so far since his freshman year, when the very idea of wearing an apron like that would have sent him into a frenzy of masculine posturing. Sam is just really glad he’s enjoying his life now. Well, maybe not right now.

Dean startles when he finally notices him and snaps, “What are you staring at, you giant? God, you walk like a freakin’ ninja.”

Sam chuckles, “You’re a huge dork.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. So. Do you want Cas’ number?”

“Who the fuck is Cas? And grab a slice of pie. Don’t fill up though, there are still cupcakes in the oven.” Dean is clearly still grumpy and distracted. Sam is about to lose him to the culinary maelstrom that consumes him when he’s like this, so he has to work quickly.

“The dude from the café. You know, sex hair and huge baby blues.”

“Pfft. Heh. What?” Now he’s got Dean’s attention. “Sounds more like you want his number, Samantha.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I already have it and I’m gonna tell Charlie you’re trying to belittle me by calling me a woman’s name again, jerk.”

Sam’s got him there. The last lecture of Charlie’s that Dean came out of resulted both in a lot of enlightenment and a lot of bruises from surprisingly strong little hands. Needless to say, Dean’s snark that day was not appreciated. 

Dean gestures dramatically, hands waving, eyes rolling, the whole shebang. “Ugh. I’m sorry.”

“Seriously though, you want his number?”

Dean feels his cheeks heating up. He had come out as bisexual just the year before after forming a close friendship with the president (or queen as she liked to call herself) of the LGBTQQIA student union, Charlie. She and the other friends he’d made were extremely supportive, unlike his immediate family back home, so he is still getting used to being able to express himself freely. Sam obviously has no such hang-ups. 

“Dude. No. He was a total jerk. Did he even tell you what happened?”

“Yeah,” Sam smirks, “You pulled his chair out from under him.”

Dean explodes, “He started it! He stole my table! I was there first!”

Sam looks utterly unimpressed. “You sound like a 3 year old.”

“Look, Sammy. There are sacred unwritten rules you don’t mess with in college. You never date your floormates, you never take a joint from a guy named Don, and you never steal someone’s study spot! Bad things happen when you don’t follow the rules, Sam.”

Sam grimaces, remembering a particularly harrowing weekend he spent cleaning up after Dean. “Pretty sure the Don thing only applies to you but as for Cas, don’t be too hard on him. He had kind of a weird upbringing so he’s not always too quick on the uptake when it comes to social cues.”

A ringer goes off and Dean takes the out gratefully, if not gracefully. He can’t stop thinking about those piercing blue eyes. He tells himself it’s because he’s still so angry. 

Dean quickly turns around to make more baking magic and misses the twinkle in Sam’s eyes. If he had waited just a second longer, he would have known to prepare himself for what was coming.

Sam starts furiously texting Eileen.


	3. The Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my friends, no actual sex in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing a Deaf character and I am not Deaf myself. If there's anything inaccurate or insensitive in this or future chapters, please let me know.
> 
> Also, formatting for texts is a special kind of torture so I'm going with sweet and simple for this one. I may change the formatting later on.

**Sam's Phone**

Sam: I have news.

Eileen: Ooh a period, seems important

Sam: Dean has a crush!!!

Eileen: Um, good for Dean?

Sam: Hell yeah good for Dean! Also good for Sam, you know why?

Sam: Eileen, you wanna know why??

Eileen: Alright, Sam. Why?

Sam: Because we’re gonna get them together

Eileen: I thought we agreed, no more meddling??

Sam: But I have a gift! See how happy Jo and Charlie are?

Eileen: You spilled Charlie’s drink on Jo at a party and they got to talking. That hardly counts as having a gift. Plus, remember Dean and Benny?

Sam: Ugh. Yeah. That was my bad.

Eileen: I mean Dean enjoyed it but we were the ones who suffered there. 

Sam: I will never forget to knock a door again I need brain bleach ugh

Eileen: Sorry to bring it up but desperate times…

Sam: You haven’t even asked me who the dude is though

Sam: It’s Cas!

Sam: :D

Eileen: What

Sam: They’d be perfect together!

Eileen: No way. I’m out.

Sam: D:

Eileen: Sorry, Sam. Call Charlie and Jo. They might be willing to go along with one of your plans.

Eileen: Anyways, enough about Dean, what about you and me? ;)

Sam: :D

Sam: Can I come over?

Eileen: Absolutely.

Sam: So we can have the sex?

Sam: *sex

Sam: Dammit

Eileen: Pfft. Yes Sam, I would love to have the sex with you.

Sam: This isn’t going to be a thing, is it? Don’t make it a thing

Eileen: maybe we should capitalize it: The Sex

Sam: Oh god

Eileen: That’s what you’ll be screaming when we have The Sex

Eileen: I mean, I assume anyways

Eileen: Because I’m Deaf, in case you forgot again

Sam: Eileen it was one time let it goooooo

Eileen: Lol I specifically said, you can’t call me

Sam: Ugh I’m on my way I don’t know why I accept this kind of abuse

Eileen: You know you like it

Sam: Maybe a little

Eileen: ;)


	4. Gayest Throw Down Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's like Eileen always says, Eileen knows best.

“I cannot believe you let them set you up but you haven’t let me, a loyal true friend of over eight years, ever even suggest someone for you to date?!”

Cas rarely sees her show any emotion other than smug and vaguely mysterious, so hearing this outburst is alarming at best. “Meg, the only time you’ve ever shown any interest in setting me up was when you hired a stripper dressed as a pizza man to come over to my house on my eighteenth birthday. So, forgive me for not completely trusting your knowledge of my taste. Also, this isn’t a date.” He continues digging through his closet for acceptable formalwear.

“You’re going out with Charlie and Jo for dinner at Moosewood with another friend. Cas, if that isn’t code for a blind double date, which are always awkward as hell by the way, I don’t know what is.”

“I’m sure Charlie and Jo wouldn’t ambush me like that. They know me better. Unlike someone here…” 

“Ugh, fuck you Clarence, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He turns from his closet with a couple shirts in hand. “Which one for tonight?”

Meg heaves a long-suffering sigh, “Go with the blue button up. It brings out your eyes.”

Cas grins at her and, fighting back a smile at the rare sight, Meg gives a mighty eye roll back.

~~~

**Sam’s Phone**

Sam: I just think my plan was better is all

Charlie: Sam. Sammy. Your plan was  
Charlie: Um

Jo: Ridiculous. I don’t even know where we would’ve gotten a hot air balloon???

Charlie: Yeah. Just. Really unfeasible.

Sam: :(

Charlie: Look, this blind date thing is gonna work way better for them getting to know each other

Jo: And also has a lower chance of killing us all

Sam: Ok… If you really think so…

Charlie: Don’t worry. I know Dean better than Dean knows Dean. I’ll let you know if they’ve got chemistry ;D

Jo: And I’ll be damage control when things inevitably fall to shit

Charlie: Aw come on Jo! You know you’re secretly super romantic. Remember that one time at the beach? With all the flowers and the lights…

Sam: :o Please. Do tell. I can’t imagine Jo in any situation involving romance

Jo: Charlie if you say anything I won’t do that thing you like anymore

Charlie: What thing?

Jo: You know…

Sam: Oh god please no more details I really don’t need to know anymore please

Jo: :)

Charlie: Aaaanyways, we’ll update you after dinner. Wish us luck!

Jo: We’ll need it.

~~~

Jo and Charlie arrive at Dean’s an hour before dinner. Charlie grabs the spare key from under the neighbor’s turtle statue and lets them in. They see Dean dancing around in the kitchen with only a towel around his waist and Led Zeppelin blasting at a truly alarming volume.

He abruptly stops his terrible off-key crooning and turns to see Charlie and Jo snickering on the couch in the living room. He lowers the volume on the old boombox that takes up half of the coffee table and says, “Damn. I thought we had finally found a good hiding spot for those keys.”

“You can’t hide anything from the queen, lowly handmaiden.”

Jo smirks. “Nice moves, twinkle toes.”

Dean turns a rosy pink. “You’re the… twinkle toes.”

“Really? That’s the comeback you’re going with?”

“Look, I was kinda in the middle of something.”

“Don’t let us interrupt you.”

Charlie gets up from the couch. “Actually, do let us interrupt you. What are you wearing tonight?”

“Clothes?? I don’t know??”

“Ok. Jo and I will pick something out for you.”

“Woah, what the hell? No. Stay outta my stuff.”

Charlie and Jo are already heading towards his bedroom. “Do you still have those nice dark jeans?” “Oh yeah, they’d look good with the Henley.” “Excellent idea, Jo. Let’s see if we can find it.”

“Why is my outfit even a thing we’re discussing?” Dean calls into the bedroom, with no response. Knowing this is a lost battle, he returns to the kitchen to finish up the dishes.

~~~

Dean, Jo, and Charlie arrive at the restaurant right on time and find a table near the back. Dean takes in the warm lighting and relaxed atmosphere and sits down with a content sigh.

Jo and Charlie stare at him. Dean stares back, starting to feel uncomfortable. “Ok, spill. What’s up with you guys?”

“What? Nothing.” “Absolutely nothing.”

“Ok, definitely not suspicious at all. Seriously, guys--” 

“Hi! My name is Tessa, and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with anything to drink?”

Jo and Charlie share a relieved look and Jo says, “Could we have a few more minutes? We’re waiting on someone.”

“Absolutely. I’ll check in again in a bit!”

Charlie distracts Dean with details of their next club meeting and half an hour later, their fourth is still a no-show. Dean, getting hangry, says, “So, who is this person anyways? Can we just start without them?”

Charlie stammers, “Ah, he’s a friend. He, uhhh, wants to know more about the LGBTQQIA student union and I said he could come to dinner with us and meet a couple members himself.” She is extremely pleased with her quick lying skills and chalks it up to her expertise in story telling in the LARPing world.

“Isn’t that what tabling is for? Why the special treatment?”

Charlie flounders again and Jo leans forward to take control of the situation. “Okay, Dean. Let me level with you. The dude coming is pretty fucking dreamy and Sa-uh we thought he’d be perfect for you.”

“This is a set-up? No way, guys. I’m out.“

Before he can move Charlie brightens and practically jumps out of her seat, “Oh, wait! He’s here! Wait ‘til you meet him Dean!”

Dean, already fuming, turns around and what does he see but those blue eyes that set his heart aflame. With anger, that is. Right.

Cas hasn’t noticed him yet and immediately starts apologizing when he sees Charlie and Jo, “I am incredibly sorry. I got caught in the rain and fell in one of those mud puddles on College Ave on the way here and when I went back to change I realized I had left my keys inside so I had to call Meg and—“

Charlie holds up her hands, “Cas! Cas, don’t worry about it. You’re here now and that’s what matters. Meet Dean. He’s an engineering student and—“

“We know each other.”

Cas and Dean are outright glaring at each other now. Cas is the first to break the silence and narrows his eyes further. “So, Dean—“

“Figures that someone who steals another man’s seat would show up half an hour late to dinner with some flimsy excuse.”

Charlie gulps. Jo whips out her phone to start recording. Tessa, who was approaching with a small notebook, pencil, and a wide smile, immediately turns back around. 

“Man? Please. You’re nothing but a immature boy in a too big leather jacket.”

“You’re tryna start in on my wardrobe now? What about your creepy ass flasher trench coat that needed to be washed, like, yesterday.”

Jo mutters to Charlie, “Fashion insults? This is the gayest throw down ever. Bless.”

Charlie snickers a little too loudly and turns it into a cough. The boys are still glaring at each other, though, so she tries to interject, “Look guys, we should all just start over. I’m sure this is all a big misunderstanding.” Seeing no response from them, she continues a bit frantically, “So like I was saying, Cas here is a business major—“

Dean gives a sardonic grin, “Ha! Figures someone like you would be studying ways to swindle honest people out of their money.”

That hits a nerve with Cas and he leans into a still sitting Dean with murder in his eyes. “You should show me some respect.”

Dean feels a shiver go down his spine and, needing to get the last word in, slowly stands until they are once again practically nose to nose. Cas absently notices he has freckles dotted along the bridge of his nose and his eyes dart down to see Dean lick his full lips but his attention snaps back to the present when Dean says, “You know, the last person that looked at me like that, I got laid.”

That’s the final straw for Cas and he storms out.


	5. Mommy Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought I could avoid the angst but I love making my small sons suffer. Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love Eileen? Because I do love her. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Adding a trigger warning for homophobic shit***
> 
> I'll update the tags, too. I'm still not sure where the story is going so tags will be updated as needed. If you are worried about needing anything specific tagged beforehand or would like to know how it will be handled, leave a comment with your question below or send me a message on my tumblr yourethelmaandimlouise. I'm more than happy to accommodate for any of that!
> 
> Also, my bad for not updating this past weekend. If it makes you feel any better, you're getting another update very very soon! :D

Sam slowly blinks awake. No sunlight streams through the window. The room is dark and still. He’s about to go back to sleep when all of a sudden he feels a shiver down his spine. What woke him?

Heart in his throat, he slowly turns around to see a dark figure at his desk. He’s shocked for a second but then berates himself for getting scared over the pile of unfolded laundry he must have left there. He keeps blinking the bleariness out of his eyes when all of a sudden his vision clears.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” He neatly tumbles out of bed. He flails about for a few seconds on the shabby carpet, tangled in Dean’s hand-me-down batman sheets. He fails to disentangle himself and from under the fringe of his too long bangs, repeats, “What the fuck, Dean.” 

“What the fuck? What the fuck, _Dean_? I think you mean what the fuck, _Sam_ , Sam! God damn it!”

Sam whines, “Dean it’s like 3 in the morning what could I have possibly already done to deserve this?”

“It’s 7, you moron.”

“Yeah. but it’s Saturday. 7AM on a weekend is—“

“No. Shut the hell up, assface. What was with that little stunt you pulled? Thought you were being funny?”

“Dean, I have literally no—Oh. They ratted me out?”

“No, I figured it out, dumbass. What were you thinking?”

“Dean, you guys would’ve been perfect together! What did you to do—“

“What did I do? I’m so done with you, Sam. Stay the hell out of my life. Just because you can’t get your shit together with Eileen doesn’t mean you need to be all up in everyone else’s business.”

“Hey. That’s unfair.” Sam pouts and starts trying to detangle himself so that he can get eye to eye with Dean, but Dean is already heading towards the door. 

He gets his hand on the handle, opens the door, and Sam, still too disoriented to navigate the minefield that is a potentially emotional conversation with Dean, replies, “Look, I know what dad did was pretty messed up, but I don’t think you should be punishing yourself for it. I think you should—“

Dean stiffens up and Sam already knows he’s made a mistake. Dean turns around and gets close enough to Sam that he can see the angry green of his eyes in the low light. His voice barely cuts through the eerie silence of the morning as he grinds out, “I don’t care what you think. I’m not your little experiment, Sam. I’m not broken and I don’t need your pity.”

He walks out and Sam tries to ignore the pricking behind his eyes as he finishes detangling his gangly limbs.

\---

At least Dean doesn’t forget to grab a jacket when he storms out. He punches his arms through the sleeves and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He sees his breath fogging up in front of him and decides he could really use a smoke right about now.

He trudges up the hill to get to the 7-Eleven and gets a pack and a lighter for a few bucks. He lights it up as he idly starts to walk towards campus. He can’t help but think of the incident Sam alluded to. Sam doesn’t even understand half of what he was saying.

Dean still has scars, physical and emotional, he guesses, from the day a drunk John walked in on him holding hands with Jose from his middle school class. What Sam doesn’t know is that that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was the next morning when his mom took him aside and told John to go ahead and take Sam to school. He can't forget that particular soft blue look she gave him. 

_“Son, I love you but maybe we’ve been too soft on you.” She strokes a hand down his cheek. “You should already know what’s right and what’s wrong. What you did yesterday was very wrong. You should never do that with little boys.”_

_“But we didn’t do anything wrong, mom.”_

_Her hand moves down to grip his chin, her immaculate nails digging into his soft face. His eyes start watering but he’s too afraid to move. He’s never seen his mother’s face like this. His soft, happy mother has never looked this frightened, disgusted, angry with him._

_“You need to learn how to love right, Dean. That kind of love isn’t right. If you can’t love right, then I can’t love you, do you understand?”_

_He nods, his young mind not comprehending what he just agreed to, and she smiles at him, all traces of previous anger gone. She pats his head and laughs, “Imagine what would have happened if someone saw! A gay Winchester? I don’t think so. You’re going to grow up to be my strong little man, okay, honey? Do you love me?”_

_“Yes, mom.”_

_“Good. Then never do that again. And remember, if someone asks why your arm hurts, you just tell them you fell off the bed, understand? No need to get daddy in trouble for your mistakes.”_

_She kisses him on the cheek and leads him out the door._

“You look like you’ve seen better days.” A familiar voice says near him, snapping him out of his reverie. He looks around and who is it but Eileen, his little brother’s…something.

He keeps walking, avoiding eye contact, but turning enough to make sure she can still see his mouth. “Not in the mood, Eileen.”

She stops him with a hand on his shoulder and a fond eye roll. “You and your brother can be so stubborn. Let’s grab a bite at CTB and you can complain about whatever he’s gotten up to this time.”

He stops and looks at her. She looks back, serious, but with that ever present twinkle in her eye. He’s never really had an extended conversation with her but he’s always liked her kind yet cynical personality and her sarcastic sense of humor. 

“Fine, but you’re buying.”

“Lead the way.”

A few minutes later and Dean is retelling the whole story, from the seating fiasco at the café to the cursed blind date. He’s still steaming angry and Eileen is nodding along seriously. When he gets to the “You should show me some respect” part she raises an eyebrow at him. He gets a little pink but moves on to relay his reply to that and her other eyebrow joins the first one. She looks at him incredulously for a second and then bursts into laughter.

Dean is slightly offended and confused at first but Eileen is laughing too hard to explain herself. She starts signing a few things sloppily and Dean, who picked up some ASL from her and Sam over the years, makes out a few key words, “idiots,” “ridiculous,” and “overdramatic babies.” Dean’s lip starts twitching but when she starts to imitate his own face, he bursts into laughter too. After the stress of the morning, it feels really good.

After they’ve both calmed down he says, “I guess we were both really being babies, huh?”

She chuckles again and nods, “But like, really horny babies.”

Dean looks disgusted and she says, “Uh, gross. Maybe I could have phrased that better.”

“Ya think?” He shudders. “I guess we do have some chemistry. I always see him around campus and up until I got to know him I thought he was pretty hot.”

“Well, you don’t really know him, do you? It seems like you were both just in the wrong place at the wrong time. College can make you kinda crazy”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And don’t be too hard on your brother. He’s an idiot but, let’s be real, he gets that from you.”


	6. Big Old Puppy Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy is just a stack of puppies under a giant flannel shirt and he has done nothing wrong in his life ever!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um hi guys soRRY FOR THE WAIT OMG 
> 
> If anyone is still reading this I love you and thank you for your patience. Stuff has been hard IRL and this got left by the wayside but I still love this story and plan to continue it!

Sam sighs softly.

Cas keeps reading over Sam’s Business Law paper.

Sam sighs not so softly.

Cas glances up to see Sam forlornly looking out the library window into the trees.

Sam sighs pretty loudly yet again.

Cas closes the laptop.

“Sam?”

“Yes, Cas?”

“Is there something you want to talk about?”

“Who, me?”

“Well, we’re the only two people in the library right now and you’ve been sighing non-stop so ye-“

“Well, Cas,” Sam cuts him off and turns to him dramatically, hair flapping in his face. Cas gives a slow and long-suffering blink. Sam continues, “Dean is mad at me.”

Cas rolls his eyes and lowers them to the paper once again. “With a temper like the one he has I am sincerely completely unsurprised.”

“Nah this one was on me.” Sam’s melodramatic tone lessens and Cas looks up again. Sam’s brow is furrowed and he looks actually distraught now. 

Cas gentles his own tone in response, “What happened, Sam?”

“I brought something up from our childhood I really shouldn’t have.”

“Hmm. It doesn’t sound like anything a conversation can’t fix, or at least go some way towards fixing. From what you have previously said about Dean, despite his many many maaannyyy faults,” Sam sneaks in a snicker here. “He loves you and he’ll be wanting to fix this too.”

Sam pulls a face at the L word Cas used but then nods slowly, lost in thought. “I think he would’ve been more willing to talk if he hadn’t found out about how I tried to fix you guys up.”

Cas freezes. Sam realizes his mistake and his eyes go wide as a deer’s in the headlights. He can see the collision is right on course as Cas’ voice somehow gets even deeper and quieter than usual. “What do you mean 'tried to fix us up?'” And yup, there go the finger quotes. He's screwed.

“Oh man, Cas, look at the time.” Sam starts stuffing anything he can get his hands on into his messenger bag. “Sorry I’ve kept you so long I’ll just let you go now.” He starts getting up and is about ready to bolt when Cas suddenly says, with all the authority of an avenging angel, “Sit.”

Sam drops like a hot potato. 

“Explain.”

“God, Cas, I’m sorry I know I messed up. I just really think there could be something there, you know? But I should’ve listened to Eileen and not butted in at all. I really hope this doesn’t mess up our friendship. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you but if this makes it too weird I understand.”

Sam is staring at Cas with his big old puppy eyes. Of course Cas is going to forgive him. He hasn’t found such an earnest, loving, big soul in a while. He wouldn’t want to lose their burgeoning friendship either. But that doesn’t mean he’ll make it easy. 

“You’re right. You should have listened to Eileen.”

Sam looks down.

“And it does make things a bit weird.”

Sam's shoulders hunch in on themselves. All of that combined with his shaggy hair makes for a truly pathetic picture. Cas decides to put him out of his misery.

“Sam, I don’t want to stop our friendship either.”

The change is immediate. Sam looks up and smiles blindingly. Cas has always marveled at how Sam wears his heart on his sleeve and how easy his emotions are to read. His earnest enthusiasm is what earned him a spot on the short list that is Cas’ friends. But Sam is young and there are things he needs to say to him.

“But you can’t go behind my back like that again. If we are to be friends we need to be honest with one another. I’m not asking you to divulge all your darkest secrets, but I am asking you to give me forewarning before something like that. As for the actual set-up,” Here Cas pauses, trying to come up with the right words. “I know how highly you think of your brother so I am flattered that you think me worthy of potentially being his partner but he just isn’t… he just doesn’t seem…” Kind? Patient? Smart? Anything Cas wants in a partner at all ever? Except for maybe those freckles and those grass green eyes. And those lips. He can just imagine--

"Uh, Cas? You were saying?"

“Um, right. He just doesn't seem like he’s my type.”

Sam nods at a hundred an hour. “Ok Cas, no more surprises. I swear. I’m really sorry.”

“It's okay, Sam. What do you say we go get some lunch?”

“Sure!”

Cas starts gathering all his belongings and smiles to himself as Sam starts chattering about what the rest of his day looks like.

~~~

Sam is nervous about going home at the end of the day. He knows he’ll have to face Dean and he still doesn’t know what to say. He would usually talk to Eileen about something like this but he definitely does not want to hear the massive ‘I told you so’ that’s waiting for him. 

He decides to take Cas’ advice and just talk to Dean. Ask him for forgiveness and to maybe share some of he burden Sam knows he’s been shouldering alone. Sam isn’t the little kid he used to be. He’s ready to give back to Dean the way Dean has always given him.

But he’s not going in without reinforcements. 

He shoulders open the door to their little apartment off campus and yells, “Deanie, I’m hooome! And I brought some burgers from your favorite diner! And I’m really really really sorry!!!!”

“Sammy, stop that hollering and bring me the damn burger.”

Sam plops the paper bag wet with grease in front of Dean and his eyes light up. He tears into it and declares, “Alright, you may begin your groveling.”

Sam sits across their small kitchen table and waits for Dean to unpack it all and really start digging in.

“Okay, jerk, listen.” 

Dean’s eyebrow goes up at the tone but the burger is working its magic so he nods at Sam to go on.

“I shouldn’t have gone behind your back to set you up with Cas.”

“Or gotten Jo and Charlie involved.” Dean interjects.

“Or that.” Sam agrees. “ I also shouldn’t have said—“

“Forget it, Sammy. It’s fine. Eileen talked me down and the trek I know you had to make for this banging burger makes up for it. You’re off the hook.” Dean says gruffly.

Sam’s eyes activate puppy mode and Dean groans internally. He knew things were going too smoothly.

“Dean, please just talk to me.”

And this time, as opposed to all the other times Sam has tried talk about feelings, Dean thinks he may be able to open up about it. Enough time has passed since he has gone back home and they’ve gone through so many things together. Sam is older now and despite still being a dumbass, he’s smart about this kinda stuff. And Dean is so tired. So Dean takes a deep breath, chugs the last of his coke while fervently wishing it was a beer, and tells Sam about that fateful day with Jose and the day after.

Sam takes it about as well as Dean thought he would. He makes his ugly crying face and gets all angry and snotty into Dean’s shoulder and Dean holds him the way he always has. And then Sam gets all girly and talks about how he supports Dean and loves him and shit and Dean does not cry at all. It’s definitely just his allergies acting up again, okay?

**Author's Note:**

> please Validate™ me by leaving kudos and comments <3


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